OTE - what fellowship looks like

Wow! It's amazing how fast a year can go. This time last year I was lying awake in Liverpool at my sister's house wondering what tomorrow, the first day at uni, was going to be like.

And now I am here, a year on, lying awake wondering what the first day of subbing in a school is going to be like. Not that I am expecting any phone calls tomorrow because it's too soon for that.

Anyway, so this summer I took a week of my life and spent it with 32 people, living in a church hall and basically spending 24/7 together. I loved every moment of it. As the week progressed these people became more and more like members of a family to me as we shared laughter, tears, hugs and prayers together. It was great to get up every morning and know that when I went to have my breakfast I would probably be joined by at least 10 other people and know that within 5 minutes I was sure to be laughing at something that was said. Then an hour later we'd all be sharing in a devotional and discussing our thoughts and feelings on things, asking one another for prayer, or just listening to others open up about their faith. It is amazing that God brought us all together, we certainly were a united team with no 'divas' in the mix to feel frustrated or threatened by. We were all in it together, equally, and it was so amazing to know that no matter who you sat beside at lunch, or at any point in the day, that person was guaranteed to get involved in conversation with you. We worshipped God freely with the teenagers each night of On The Edge, we laughed with them and we prayed with them. When someone was feeling down, there was always a word of encouragement. Even when you weren't feeling down, there was guaranteed to still signs of encouragement to be seen. I  can't count how many times I was hugged on that team just for no reason but joy.

This is what christian friends and church family should be like. Fellowship with one another is one of the most important experiences we have as Christians and simply knowing that when we are together, we are free to share the love and joy that Christ has given us with one another is a truly amazing feeling. We should be constantly encouraging one another, not because we fear the other person is feeling down, but just because we should have this Christ-like quality that calls us to love one another at all times. We should be ready to listen, or to make time to listen and be careful of phrases such as "I'll text you and we'll meet up" that are never then followed up on. Make time for others, got those spare 5 minutes that you think you might just use to play a game on your phone? Use them to text someone you know, or someone you maybe haven't made time for in the past while and simply find out what's happening with them. You never know, your communication may just be what a friend needs at that point.
Still, it is also important to be aware of those friendships that aren't encouraging. 1st Corinthians 15:33 says  ' Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” ' and this is certainly something we should watch out for. Think about those you surround yourself with. Do you feel great and energised afterwards? Or do you feel drained? You need to immerse yourself in God's love and feel it around you. Your friends should be the kind of people that can build you up, hold you accountable and love you no matter what. I know that the love of an OTE family that I had for those 8 days of the summer has, and will continue to keep me encouraged in my walk with God. I am thankful that I felt called to do OTE again this year as I know I have made some amazing friends, and deepened existing friendships and have seen the benefits of being encouraged by others and now much ensure that I do the same for my church family, friends and beyond.

If you want to walk on water.....

you've got to get out of the boat.

Yep, that is the title of the latest book that I have decided to read....when I say "decided" I'm not quite sure whether I had much choice!

You see, it all began a few weeks ago when in church a guy stood up and said that he felt someone in the church needed to read this book called "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat" and he was going to leave in on the vestibule table for whoever it was felt prompted to read it. 'That's nice reading for that person' I thought to myself, not for me though. I still had a look however after church to see if it had gone or not from the table.
A week or so later, our section of the CE had been moved to a different room in the church, a room above the vestibule (we are normally in a room at the back of the church). As I was coming down the stairs afterwards, on the table in the vestibule the copy of this book had appeared back. I pointed this out to my sister-in-law who told me to take it and read it but I said no no it was for someone else.

The following week I was looking through the books in Ian's room and my eye was drawn straight to the title of one book "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat" I have never seen this book in Ian's bookshelf before (and I should have noticed a book because the bookcase is mostly full of dvds) but still, I didn't take it...

 The next time I was in Ian's room the book was no longer in the bookcase.....it was sitting on top of some old videos right in front of the bookcase. I thought this was weird, I must have taken it out of the bookcase but not remembered. Still, I didn't take it although I was beginning to think it was maybe a sign.

Finally, last week when I walked into Ian's room, the book wasn't sitting on top of the videos in front of the bookcase. At last! I'm not being told something! And then I spotted it....IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR. Right in my way, I couldn't have walked past it. Ian must have flung it behind him when he went to get the videos and left it there. It didn't matter anyway because it still got there didn't it and Ian was completely unaware of this debate that was ongoing in my head as to whether or not I was meant to read this book so he didn't do it on purpose. I often think, if I had of ignored it once more, the next time I'd have looked it would have been in my bag!!

"Ok God, I get the hint, I'll read the book."

So I asked Ian if I could borrow it (because I'm polite like that) and off I went on my merry way. Good bus reading material I thought. I spend at least 40-50 mins on a bus journey in total to and from work and I enjoy having something to read so I thought this would be perfect because I had actually just finished reading a book.

So, it's by John Ortberg who is quite a deep writer (not necessarily an easy read for half 8 in the morning) but I've tried my best all week to get started into it and have only found that I've read, in the past 4 days,  10 pages. It's because what I am reading is making me stop and think so much and then after a while I'm thinking to myself, do I really want to think this much for a day and not voice any of my thoughts?
It's obviously something I think (and God thinks) I should read so I decided that as I read this book, I am going to blog about it to help me along.
So whether you join me on the venture is up to you....

To journal, or not to journal, that is the question.

After a few people enquiring into prayer journals and how on earth do you even go about writing one, this got me thinking how I should answer. I am by no means an expert on these things, all I can say is I keep a prayer journal (albeit I'm not great at writing in it regularly) and I enjoy looking back over past prayers and seeing that even when I do not think God is hearing my prayers, let alone answering them, that He is actually there through it all, just perhaps working differently than from what I had asked.
It's quite an eye-opener to go back over previous prayers because I often find that I do think "God I NEED this to happen" and when it doesn't it's crap. But through a journal you can actually see that well God maybe said no to that prayer but it's because if He had said yes then I probably would have missed out on certain opportunities. God works in the long-term needs as well as the the short-term needs!

So, this is how I would write my journal in response to those who asked and out of interest to anyone thinking of writing one. It's not THE LAW, so it may not necessarily be how you would want to write one but eventually you'll figure out what works for you. I know for example, that my dad keeps a little notebook, and in it he writes a list of names/prayer requests in bullet format and uses it as a guide for who to pray for each night.
Anyway, my problem is that I get too easily distracted. If you are someone whose mind tends to stray off on a tangent "Dear God please be with  because when I saw them today in Topshop........oooo Topshop, i must remember to go back there and try on that top because it was nice in the green and I would probably suit it and I have to get it before I go to church and discover someone else has it" etc etc.. Ok, you get my drift. This would be me. I tend to think, crap i've forgotten to pray, and quickly pray in bed before I go to sleep but 9 times out of 10, fall asleep before the prayer is finished.... this is the main reason I decided to write my prayers down.
I'll find a quiet spot (minimise on the distractions). Keep a note of the date (duh!) and then I'll write down either a verse that I've looked up because I've been thinking about a certain topic, or else (and more likely) I'll use the verse in that day's Word for Today from my Bible notes. Just helps to keep your mind focused but also is helpful to being aware of certain verses.
I did a prayer ministry course and found that the most encouraging night of prayer came when we were told to stand and pray to ourselves praising God, and in that praise allow the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts and prayers and as soon as we were told to stop praising to just listen and be lead in prayer. It works! So i just write down my heart's praise for God and then most of the time I follow the whole ACTS thing - Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.
I write like I am talking to God, it means that I can see everything I've prayed and it looks less like a shopping list.
On Sunday we had a guest speaker and he made a very good point that profession is different from confession. Profession coming from your mouth, and confession coming from your heart. It's easy to just sit down and say something because you are so used to saying it. Think of how many times you have prayed and said "I'm sorry" but it's more like force of habit than actually a sincere apology. It's about the psychology of it all, writing it down helps you to see what you want forgiveness for right in front of ur face! Since I am not closing my eyes, praying for that person or situation, opening my eyes, quick glance at what's next, closing my eyes again, praying and so on, writing everything down like a letter helps me to connect more with what I am praying. I can go back and see where I was then, and where God has brought me to now.
I dunno, it just seems to work. Give it a go, write down your prayer from "Heavenly Father" to "Amen" and see how you feel about it. Even try it for a week and at the end of the week look back over what you have prayed and see how God is with you through it all answering you as you go!

Honeycomb Words

"Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones"

Proverbs 16:24

I have a sweet tooth. If I had to choose between sweet or savoury, sweet would definitely win. Although in saying that there is something about salted popcorn currently that makes me want to change my mind......mmmmm I could eat some now............*ahem* anyway...

Words, they are a powerful tool. From the same tongue that speak of love and kindness can come words of hurt and nastiness. How often do we spend our time lifting up others instead of putting them down? I know when someone says something nice to me, out of the blue, it really builds me up and sets me in great form. I did a team during the summer and the encouragement was constant from seeing God at work. However, one day during devotions, one of my team members turned randomly to me and said "I really like you Ali because you aren't afraid to say things" Another girl, that girl's sister as it happens, said to me that it was so lovely to have me on the team because I brought out the crazy, fun and chilled side to the leader of the team (and also one of my best friends) Dawn who had apparently been stressed out the year before. You think that people don't notice things about you, that you just blend in to the background. But how sweet is it to hear a random encouraging word, sweet enough to soothe a hurt or to lift a troubled heart. The gift of words are an incredible treasure. If you think about it, God gave the gift of words to Man - not to animals or plants (that would be weird wouldn't it...) but to us. He made us in His own image - God SAID "let there be light" and it happened. BOOM. We have the power of words, be careful not to use them for hurt. So often I will turn to someone and without thinking cut them down, or try to annoy them just because they have maybe annoyed me. Afterwards I feel horrible. Next time you go to slag someone off, even if it usual jest, try to say something that will linger long in that person's heart in a way that will keep them positive, upstanding and really catch them off guard!
I have a friend who honestly just used to suck the life out of me. Anytime I was near her I found it hard to be of any use - all my words, no matter how positive I tried to be, just seemed to hit against her brick wall she'd built around herself.  For everything positive, she had a negative. I seriously did not look forward to hanging out with her. I prayed about it, because in certain situations that's all I can do, pray and trust that God will sort the rest (..... to be fair I also did tell her she needed to get rid of the negativity.) God worked and through a series of eye-opening events, my friend is like a breath of fresh air! And what an encouragement to be around as a Christian, she has got rid of the negative spirit and I definitely feel uplifted around her now.

Thing is with words is that once they have been said, they can't be taken back. You can get over it and heal but you have to be careful not to let those words try to get you down. EVER. If you let the littlest doubt enter into your head about someone, and begin to recall maybe something hurtful they once said it can drag you down. If the person has apologised and things have moved on to a positive place. Live in that place. Both of you. Remember that when you leave someone, make them sorry that you have to go and look forward to seeing you again. Words of motivation, encouragement and love echo through our hearts over and over again in such a powerful healing way. If you think something nice about someone, tell them!
Think about it, phrases like "you annoy me"
"what's your problem"
"don't be so stupid"
Do those phrases emit any positive emotions within you? I wouldn't think so.
How lovely is it to hear
"You make my day brighter"
"I love spending time with you"
"Thanks for calling, I needed a good chat with you"
The list can go on.....

Here's my challenge to myself for this week. Words of encouragement. No matter how cheesey, I'll say it. I'm going to let people know that they matter to me, that I'm praying for them and that I love to spend time with them. Because if it's a lovely truth, why hide it from them?!

Soul survival

I already know that this is going to be a random, jumpy blog. Just go with it, it is my thoughts you know....

Sometimes life can get you down. It doesn't matter if you are, like me, someone who tends to see the glass as half full, you still can get a bad case of....I want to say "the dumps" but that just sounds like needing the loo...sooo a bad case of....ehh... sad times. You may say to yourself, "well Ali every girl is going to get sad at least some time in the month" (you know what i mean) but there are just those times that just can't help but get you down.

The devil is obviously the instigator of such times when things have been going great. He gets in there with fears, doubts and insecurities, and makes you think things that never would occur to you previously. I was out with three of my best friends yesterday, all christian friends and all very good at giving good spiritual advice and having good Godly discussions in between catching up on all the latest news and events. It was right after this that the devil clearly decided to put thoughts into my head, so much so that it ended up that it got taken out on Ian that night. He just had to say one thing and that was it * insecurity alert* I was upset. Poor guy. Luckily for me God blessed me with a handsome but yet forgetful boyfriend (lol) and we watched Lost and all was well.

OR WAS IT?!

No, no,  the devil was still getting at me today...making me more and more insecure about a certain situation. This is why I am thankful for people who are good at helping me to survive. I went to church tonight and out afterwards with two of my best friends. Friends that I can ask to pray for me, and also who i can sit and pray with. They talked sweet sense to me, made me see that my insecurity was so far from the truth because of how much it can be seen that God had been at work. And now? I feel restored!
So whenever you are feeling down, grab a friend/family member/other half and talk to them about the issues you see and let them open your eyes to show you how much good stuff there actually is and how God is at the centre of it all sorting it all out and planning out your life. It is so refreshing sometimes to not have to figure it out for yourself, but to have someone else come along and be like "I can see God at work, here, here and here"

I  love prayer and praying for people and with people. It's funny, because sometimes the thought still makes me feel uncomfortable, but God pushed me out of that comfort zone to a place where I can sit down and pray with someone if they ask. A year ago that would never have happened.
I'd advise that if you are a christian that you keep a prayer journal, or at least some kind of record of your prayers, because looking back can be such an encouragement. I keep a prayer journal because even though I may think that God is not at work and listening to my cry,  and I know thatwhen I go back and look over my prayers in the future I'll be able to see how God really was at work and making me into a stronger, better christian and sustaining me through the hard times, and giving me great blessings that I don't deserve.
Don't you just love the Lord? I do!

So obviously God is number one for soul survival. Here are some other people that help.....my niece and nephew. Seriously you wonder how it's possible to just instantly love somebody You'll find out when there is a baby in your family....these pair make me laugh a lot.
So yea, family, friends, love, music, laughing..........they all help. So don't let the devil get you down, get up and keep on moving and God will get you out of your trench in whatever form He chooses to help you do it.

Packing, and the like.

Woohooo! It's pretty much holiday time.

At 4pm tomorrow (....which is now technically today) I am free of work for 3.5 weeks! I have realised that my job sucks the life right out of me. I used to be this happy go-lucky kind of person....and after working in a monotonous environment for too long (too long I say) it's time to get out. So once I am chillaxed from my holiday and feeling fresh and full of the joy of God after I get home from On The Edge, the real job hunt begins....

*Note to self - working in retail is never going to be my job category again*



Anyway, back to packing.

WHY OH WHY OH WHY do I  leave it all to the last minute?  I tell myself every time that I will not do that and I always do. Still, can't wait to see Ashley again! Quite possibly my most favourite American! She is one of those friends that it just doesn't matter how long you have been apart when you are together it's like you've never been away from one another. That is a good friendship to have when you both live in different continents. Right well I merely decided to come on to my blog, and blog, because I was waiting for the new software to download onto my iphone, and it's done! Bet you I don't notice a difference...

Well fare thee well old blog, I shall see you when I return!

Perhaps I shall have a tan! And even if I do it is guaranteed that my lovely boyfriend (who has the most sickening ability to tan in even the smallest amount of sunshine) will still be more brown than me!! LOL! How rude!

Papa G

What I would like is for God's hand to
come down from the sky (in a non-scary manner) and just prod me in the right direction. I know I should be praying for discernment so as to hear and hopefully do what God wants but sometimes i'd like it in a more radical way.
Currently I am debating something; whether to say what I'd like to say to someone or whether to just leave it and see if it gets brought up first. Vague yes I know, but this is a public place, I can't just divulge all kinds of info....
So I was thinking of radical ways God could tell me the answer to my question:
1) big finger pointing from the sky and the voice with the answer
2) He could tell me in a dream
3) He could send a hot air balloon into the sky with either 'yes' 'no' or 'wait' on it
4) He could get some randomer... Or a friend to come up to me and say " God wants you to know etc" and it be meaningless to them but I would fully understand!
5) Have the answer form before my eyes in my alphabet soup...

All radical. All possible. With God there is no limits as to what He can do, we are just not smart enough or actually we are just too reluctant to pray for big things, things deemed impossible by others. But you gotta remember, through Christ all things are possible!

Now maybe I shall go and pray about this, listen for God's voice in whatever way He chooses to speak.